Polyamory is defined as the process of loving more than one person at once, usually mistaken for an open relationship which is more sexual than polyamory, for example by usage of sex apps in Hongkong.
In reality, polyamorous relationships are different in that there is an agreement from multiple, loving partners. Polyamory is a non-monogamous relationship from a normative relationship as more than a single partner is involved.
According to New York City relationship expert and author Susan Winter, a polyamorous relationship is often “characterized by a primary couple that openly (and with mutual consent) engages with other romantic partners. These sexual liaisons may be enacted as a couple or independently.”
How does it work?
It’s quite hard getting in and maintaining a relationship with just one partner talks more of two- This is why for a polyamorous relationship to be a success, participating members have to be open and honest in regards what they need and want from the relationship.
The boundaries existing in a polyamorous relationship are quite different from that of monogamous ones, but they still exist in forms of defining who is allowed to come into the relationship and issues like how much time partners can spend with each other.
With Children! How?
The concept is a bit different when children are present, and I’d be stating a few Pros and Cons of having children in a polyamorous relationship
Pros
- More Love
Kids with parent practicing polyamory have been reported to feel more love and have more fun people to be with. The presence of more than one adult may translate to more care and a more robust support system, hanging out becomes more fun and kids can decide who and who not to run to in their time of emotional need and have it catered for by adults with varying personalities.
- Varying Interest
With adults with probably different careers, interest, and habits, children in a polyamorous setting have a more extensive range of interest, career, and habits to choose from while growing- This gives them a chance to explore, and then eventually stick to one that fits. In the case where their parents are very conversant children get a more intelligent insight and approach coupled with more problem-solving skills.
Cons
- Abuse
As children do not get to choose who their parents stay with, they may be disadvantaged in a wrong choice made by their parent. In the case the parents are in a polyamorous relationship with an abusive individual this may take a significant toll on the life of the child(ren), but this can also be existent in a monogamous relationship. Although it may be more severe as resentment may be between one of the partners and this resentment can be extended to kids who are usually defenseless.
According to a recent study, “The Puzzle of Monogamous Marriage,” the author wrote:
Much empirical work in monogamous societies indicates that higher degrees of relatedness among household members are associated with lower rates of abuse, neglect, and homicide. Living in the same household with genetically unrelated adults is the single most significant risk factor for abuse, neglect, and homicide of children. Stepmothers are 2.4 times more likely to kill their stepchildren than birthmothers, and children living with an unrelated parent are between 15 and 77 times more likely to die ‘’accidentally. (Emphasis mine)
- Personality Confusion
Just as having an assortment of personalities to choose from may be a blessing, it might also be otherwise. Children may also get very confused with having to stick to a particular personality and switch as they grow due to the influence of the varying personalities they interacted with on a personal level. While it might be useful to be diverse, a personality disorder may also occur, and that can take a significant toll on the development of such a kid.
It has also been noted, according to Dr. Karen Ruskin that children whose parent are polyamorous tend to:
- Put up love barriers
- Sabotage relationships
- Be needy in relationships
- Ultra-sensitive
In conclusion, just as good as polyamorous is with the wrong partners, it may be dangerous to children who are in the relationship.