If you are in a polyamorous relationship, raising kids is quite a handful. There are different factors in play when it comes to managing their tender emotions on the subjects.
An uncarefully handled situation could be detrimental to the development of your kids, read on to find out some critical issues parents in an open relationship and having a hookup here and then face while raising kids (not just in Australia).
Does being in an open relationship have effects on raising children?
The family unit has since seized to be what the 60s used to be. The old fashioned conformity has stopped to be the definition of a family unit.
Before now, couples were expected to be, mutually exclusive to one another, but nowadays, most modern families come with a different structure.
Most modern families have complexities; one of such is where parents are in an open relationship. And the kids are now aware of the fact the mom/dad has a boyfriend/girlfriend and that both parents are cool with it.
However, as sensitive members of the family, a high tendency lies that they may not understand what this means and where they fall in the picture. Below are the most common effects of raising children while in an open relationship.
1. The Possibility of emotional stress on the children
Most parents fail to understand that having a new partner aside from the co-parent impacts a lot on child development, thus increasing their emotional stress level.
2. Effects of Peer stigmatization
Obviously, at some point, one of your kids will have to feel you being in an open relationship will make him look bad in the eyes of his peers. Because society hasn’t fully gotten a grasp of what open marriage is all about, they get reactions such as,” that’s so weird”, making your child feel bad.
3. Emotional Instability
According to Dr Karen Ruskin, a marriage and family therapist, “As children age and these significant adult figures in their life come and go (due to adult breakups with one’s polyamorous partner/partners), children don’t feel so loved, they no longer feel stable nor at peace. What do they feel? They feel abandoned! They feel rejected! Children who feel abandoned and rejected are emotionally wounded, hurt, and in turn feel unworthy of love”.
Parents have to guide their kids on all they need to know about life and relationships, be it as complex as it seems; here are a few tips to raising children while in an open relationship:
1. Be entirely honest to your children
According to Margaret E. Jacobsen in her Romper series states that “depending on the age of your child/children, being honest in an open relationship shows them that they can be entirely trusting of you”. Honesty to your children helps them see what love can be, different from the definitions of society.
Similar, to help your kids adapt to the changes in your love life, you need to help them understand the path you’ve chosen. This act will go a long way to strengthen your relationship.
2. Be dependable
Most parents in open relationships learnt the hard way. Kids react to your attitude and responses differently. Their needs must come as a priority before your emotional attachments, and this is because most kids interpret “maybe” as “yes,” so it’s better to say “no” if you’re not sure that you can follow through.
Why is this point important, being dependable means you are disciplined and trust me kids can only understand, love and respect parents who exhibit a high level of discipline and dependability.
3. Be present
You don’t have to miss out of significant activities in your kid’s life all because you have the liberty to date more and have fun. When they say, “Dad, I want to spend this time with you. Come look at this project I’m doing.” Please be there for your child.
4. Select partners that understand parenting
Not everyone understands what is required to raise a child. Hence, go for partners that recognize the position of your kids in your life, and is willing to help out in their upbringing.
Selecting a partner isn’t that difficult anymore. Recent dating and sex app is a current source of selecting partners while in an open relationship. And because there is an extensive database of possible dates, you find it very easy to choose through various people until you find someone that suits both you and your kids.
5. Hear them out
Most times, children have complaints and worries about you or your partner. As silly as they may sound, never overlook their grievances. It assures them that they still have your attention even though a new person is in your life.
To sum it up, parenting and having an open relationship is complicated, hence it takes a lot of patience, understands and immense love to balance both.
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