Meeting Stephie on tinder wasn’t a wrong decision; after all, I’ve had several dates on the platform.
One time I went on a date with a gothic chick who thought all her lovers should have some weird gothic ritual. Crazy huh?
When it comes to dating and Finding lovers online, I had a swell time. But like I said, I have Stephie now, and I couldn’t be happier.
How Stephie and I started our relationship still puzzled me. When we started chatting, I thought she was one of those unserious ladies on apps online.
Her tinder profile created an impression that she isn’t my type of lady. To me, she was some random unserious crazy girl. But I just decided to give us a chance. And that decision changed my love life forever.
After chatting online for a few months, we decided to meet each other. Of course, I never knew Stephie would turn out to be someone beyond my exception.
Our first meeting changed everything. She was so homely, intelligent, and friendly. She knew a whole lot of things and seemed to be the ideal lady I needed in my life.
That was the day I knew it’s wrong to judge a book by its cover. If I were to conclude based on the pictures she shared on tinder, I wouldn’t be with such an amazing woman.
We grew fond of each other and spent more time together. And our affection for each other grew stronger every day.
We were always chatting, calling, messaging, etc. After a while, I soon discovered that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
Do you know that feeling of wanting to see more of someone every time? That was how I felt.
Sometimes, when I spent the whole day with her, I still missed her the moment she left my house. And this was the same way she felt about me. We were just like teenagers in love.
On my 27th birthday, I decided to take the relationship to the next level, a decision that changed my love life for good.
Few days to my birthday, I made up my life to take the big step in my relationship with Stephie. This was after she met my parents, and they were so fond of her.
A day to my 27th birthday, I sat down and had a deep thought. I knew I had almost everything but Stephie. And I decided to make her a constant in my love equation.
We were by the beachside when I engaged her. I could see the joy all over her face after the engagement. And we got married after a few months.
Ever since then, our love life has been remarkable. Of course, we had our challenges, but we always sort things out ourselves.
However, when we started having kids, things were rough for us. We weren’t able to sustain that romance in our relationship.
The distractions were much, and we had little or no time for ourselves. We were living like strangers.
But we realized that we were getting afar from each other. And we were able to tackle the challenges. Today, our love life is as romantic as ever, despite having two awesome kids.
From my experience, I know raising children affects a romantic relationship. It doesn’t matter how much you love your partner. When you start having children in marriage, your burning flame of romance may quench, except you guys recognize it on time.
In the next section, I’m going to discuss the challenges of a romantic relationship when raising kids.
Challenges Of A Romantic Relationship When Raising Kids
Starting a family is great. It gives a sense of joy to see your kids running around the home. But sometimes, raising kids could affect your romantic relationship with your partner.
I’m not discouraging you from starting a family. It’s far from it. But I’m trying to prepare your mind. Our marriage suffered when we were raising our first son, David.
Stephie and I were getting distanced. It broke my heart that our son got all the attention, while I struggle to get it. But we were able to sort things out ourselves. And today, raising kids now make our relationship stronger.
Below are some of the challenges your relationship may face when raising kids.
#1. Your Partner Gives All The Attention To The Kids
When you start raising kids, you will not get much of your partner’s attention. She gives more than 55% of her time to the kids, and you may not be able to spend much time together again.
Your once romantic moment together may become a fancy memory because the chances of having such amazing moments together are slim.
But you don’t have to blame her. She is trying to fit into her new lifestyle of being a mother. The best way to get her attention is to always be with her when she attends to the kids. This way, you will be creating more bonds with each other.
#2. You May Not Nurture The Relationship As It Was
When you start having children, both of you may not have the time to nurture your relationship. Even if you want to, your new responsibility as parents may distract you.
Do you still remember the early days in your relationship? I mean those days when your partner would rest on your chest to tell you how her day went.
She may not be able to do that when you guys are raising kids. This doesn’t mean that her love for you has reduced. But the new responsibility of raising kids is now your priority.
#3. It May Takes Weeks Before You Have Sex
I know the thought of not having sex for weeks breaks your heart. But its the reality you will face. Sex will not be a priority on your list anymore. If you need instant action, use sex apps for satisfaction. You can find an overview on Dating Insider NZ.
Your sex life will be temporarily inactive. To start with, you have to wait for several weeks before having sex when your partner gives birth to a baby.
And she will probably be tired when you are in the mood, vice versa. It’s a terrible challenge. If you love sex as I do, you will understand how frustrating it was. But we found our way around it.
#4. Your Partner Will Love Your Baby More Than You
It’s normal; your wife will love your kids more than you. She will want to be with them all the time while leaving you to yourself. This is a major challenge romantic relationships face when raising kids.
When we had our first son, Stephie, was so distant from me. All she wanted to do was to be around our child. I felt terrible about it.
But I had a heart to heart conversation with her. I made her understood how I felt about the whole thing. She came to her senses and apologized. That was how I started getting parts of her love again.
Final Words
Being in a relationship is great. It gives endless joy when someone loves you unconditionally. But it sometimes your romance and love life may dwindle when you start raising kids.
Most relationships experience this, but how you manage, it matters a lot. In my opinion, communication is the key.
Whenever you think your relationship isn’t as romantic as it used to be, try to talk about it with your partner. This is the easiest way to lubricate your love life when raising kids.
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